Top Secret · Eyes Only

Classified Dossier

The Ryan Till Files

One man. Six phenomena. Zero coincidences. An unofficial field report on the theories our best friend Ryan Till believes in — and will absolutely tell you about at a party.

Case No. RT-1993  ·  Clearance Level OMEGA  ·  Status UNRESOLVED

They laughed at Ryan Till. They called him "paranoid," "obsessed," "please stop bringing this up at Thanksgiving." History will not be so cruel. What follows is the definitive ranking of the phenomena Ryan believes deserve your full attention — presented here without spin, without gatekeepers, and without the mainstream media's permission.

Case Files 01–06

01
Field Report

The Giants of Kandahar

Ryan's number one. A whispered-about military legend: soldiers in Afghanistan allegedly encountering towering, impossibly strong humanoids in the mountains near Kandahar, with stories of firefights that ended badly for the humans involved. Officially, nothing happened. Officially, nothing ever happens.

Ryan's take: the silence around it is the evidence. "Why would they even bother denying something that's obviously fake?" he asks, tapping the table for emphasis, every single time.

Ryan's Confidence Level 98%. The other 2% is reserved for the possibility it's actually worse than the legend says.
02
Cryptid

Bigfoot

The classic. The icon. Ryan owns three documentaries, one plaster footprint cast he ordered online, and a strong opinion about the Patterson-Gimlin film that he will defend to the death. To Ryan, Bigfoot isn't folklore — it's a wildlife management failure.

"Millions of acres of unmonitored forest," he says, "and we're supposed to believe we've catalogued every large mammal in North America? Come on."

Ryan's Confidence Level 92%. Would go camping specifically to "settle it" if given one weekend and a thermal camera.
03
Cryptid

Sasquatch

Do not, under any circumstances, call this "the same thing as Bigfoot" around Ryan. He has a whiteboard. Bigfoot is the Pacific Northwest media phenomenon; Sasquatch, per Ryan's framework, is the older, more regional, more credible Indigenous oral tradition the pop-culture version borrowed from — and he believes conflating them is exactly how the truth gets diluted.

He will pause any conversation to make this distinction. He considers it his life's work.

Ryan's Confidence Level 95% on existence, 100% on the two being different, and he will not be taking questions.
04
Cryptid

Chupacabra

Goat-suckers, drained livestock, and eyewitness sketches that all somehow look a little different. Ryan finds the regional spread of the sightings — Puerto Rico to South Texas — more convincing than any single blurry photo. To him, a legend that travels is a legend with legs.

He's also quick to point out that "half the sightings turn out to be coyotes with mange," which he considers proof he's a responsible, skeptical researcher and not just a guy who wants it to be real.

Ryan's Confidence Level 81%. Docked points only because he admits the mange thing is annoyingly plausible.
05
Folklore

Skinwalkers

The one Ryan takes the most seriously, and the one he'll talk about the least — mostly because he genuinely won't discuss it after 10pm, on principle. Rooted in Navajo (Diné) tradition and widely sensationalized by outsiders since, the skinwalker is, in Ryan's words, "the one story where even the skeptics get quiet."

He's careful here: he reads about it, he respects that it comes from a real culture and isn't just campfire content, and he does not do the thing some people do where they treat it like a jump-scare prop.

Ryan's Confidence Level Won't give a number. Just says "some things you don't rank, you just don't go looking."
06
Aerial Phenomena

General UFOs

The catch-all, the classic, the reason Ryan has a folder on his phone literally named "Sky Stuff." Declassified Navy footage, unexplained radar tracks, the Pentagon's own UAP task force — Ryan considers this the one category where the government has basically admitted he was right, and he brings it up constantly.

"They changed the name from UFO to UAP and everyone acted like that wasn't a huge deal," he says. "It was a huge deal."

Ryan's Confidence Level 99%. This is the one he considers "basically confirmed" and gets genuinely offended if you disagree.
✦

Location File

Denver International Airport

Case No. DIA-666 · Gates Unknown · Status: HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT

Ryan's favorite "you can literally go look at this yourself" phenomenon. Forget grainy footage and blurry photographs — DIA plants its oddities directly in the terminal for 60+ million travelers a year to walk right past. Ryan considers that the boldest move in the entire conspiracy world.

The New World Airport Commission

A dedication capstone in the Great Hall credits construction to the "New World Airport Commission." Airport officials confirm no such organization has ever existed. Nobody has ever satisfactorily explained why it's carved in granite.

Blucifer, The Blue Mustang

A 32-foot, glowing-red-eyed horse statue looms over the arrivals road. Its creator, Luis Jiménez, was killed when a piece of it fell on him during construction. Locals will tell you that unprompted, immediately, whether you asked or not.

The Tanguma Murals

Sprawling apocalyptic paintings of gas-masked children, burning cities, and a sword-wielding militarized figure greet arriving passengers. The artist called it "peace over war." Ryan calls it "a warning."

Gargoyles & The Talking Statue

Bronze gargoyles guard the baggage claim, and an animatronic gargoyle installed in 2019 has been recorded telling guests to "welcome to the Illuminati." Ryan considers this a confession, not a joke.

The Underground Levels

DIA sits on 34,000 acres — more than twice the size of Manhattan — with rumored sub-levels never opened to the public. Officially, it's just an automated baggage system that famously never worked. Ryan does not accept "officially."

The Runway Layout

Viewed from above, the runways form a shape some visitors have compared to a swastika. Airport planners attribute it to standard crosswind design. Ryan keeps a printed satellite photo in his glovebox regardless.

Ryan's Confidence Level 88%. He's flown through DIA four times specifically to "look around" and has never once made his connecting flight on time.
✦

Global Threat Assessment

Not every one of Ryan's files is about cryptids and hangars. This one's real: a look at where intentional homicide rates run highest around the world, mapped and ranked. Ryan pulls this out whenever someone tells him he only cares about "fake stuff."

1
2
3
4
5
6
C1
C2
C3
C4
C5
Highest national rates (1–6) Highest city rates (C1–C5) Map is a stylized reference sketch, not to scale

Highest National Homicide Rates

1Turks and Caicos Islands76.3
2St. Kitts and Nevis61.2
3St. Vincent and the Grenadines54.0
4U.S. Virgin Islands52.0
5Jamaica49.3
6Ecuador45.7

Highest City Homicide Rates

C1Colima, Mexico Most-cited "world's most dangerous city" in recent rankings~127
C2Ciudad Juárez, Mexico~86
C3Ciudad Victoria, Mexico~86
C4Durban, South Africa~77
C5Caracas, Venezuela National rate shown; city-specific figures vary by source~48

Figures are intentional-homicide rates per 100,000 population, most recent year available per location (mostly 2022–2024). Sources: UNODC / World Bank World Development Indicators, national violence observatories, and public rankings compiled from Statista, World Population Review, and InSight Crime reporting. Methodology and reporting years vary by source — treat as general comparison, not precise real-time data. Notably, El Salvador's rate fell from roughly 52 (2018) to under 3 by 2023 following an aggressive gang crackdown, one of the sharpest declines ever recorded.

✦

The Truth Is Out There. Ryan Just Got There First.

Say what you want about the Illuminati, the mainstream media, or "the lack of any peer-reviewed evidence whatsoever" — Ryan Till has never once let that stop him from being right about this stuff at the next bonfire.

This page exists because he's our best friend, he never stops talking about any of this, and honestly? At this point we're just along for the ride.

— Filed by those who know him best, and love him anyway.